Ask Reno!
by Mischievious Moogle
Summary: Reno is finally taking the time to answer any questions his fans may have! What have you always wanted to ask the adorable redhaired Turk?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy 7!

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**Ask Reno!: Chp 1**

Yo! It's Reno here! And welcome to the "Ask Reno" fic, yo! This fic was designed for me to answer _your _questions! Any questions you guys, my fans, may have, I'll answer them! Just send them to the authoress and she'll give 'em to me to answer. Sounds simple, no?

_It's really simple. Hiya! I'm M, the authoress and hostess of this fic. I'll be receiving the questions you guys have and making sure Reno answers them all truthfully. Got that, Reno?_

Truthfully? Psh, fine. No problem, yo.

_Good. Just make sure you guys all send in any questions you may have! Oh! And please keep them clean! I want to keep the rating low on this fic, so everybody of all ages can enjoy it. So please don't ask anything vulgar, 'kay? I really appreciate it! And as an example, we'll start off with three sample questions. Ready, Reno?_

Ready as I'll ever be, yo!

_Okay. Reno, how do you feel about your part in Final Fantasy VII? _

Eh, it was alright. I wish I would have had a bigger part, like maybe main character or something, but you work with what you got, yo. Besides, I love being a Turk.

_Why do you always say "yo" after your sentences?_

Hm…I do that, yo? Oh, guess I do. I've never really noticed that. I've always been saying that; for as long as I could remember, yo. I probably picked it up from somewhere. It's kind of my thing, you know? Like how Naruto always says "dattebayo" and how Misha from Pita-Ten always says "su", yo.

_I see. Final question-_

Wait, wait, wait. What's this here?

_Oh! It's a question from one of our fans from your other fic! Let's answer this one then. Ahem, _

'_**Reno, is your hair dyed?' **__Signed, xyuffiex. _

Nah, my hair ain't dyed. It's all natural! It's really this red! Amazing, huh?

_Yes, it's dazzling! Anyway, that's all for now. Send in your questions and reviews, guys! Reno and I will be glad to get them!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Final Fantasy VII!!

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**Ask Reno!: Chp 2**

Yo! Welcome to chapter 2 of the "Ask Reno!" fic.

_Wow…Look at all the questions you got! You're so popular!_

Heh. Well, you know how I do, yo.

_Um…right. Anyway, we should probably get to answering these._

Ask away! You're the host, yo.

_Let's go! First question:_

"_**How many cigarettes do you smoke in a day?" **__Signed, reno'sgf ()_

Hm…Well, I'm trying to quit smoking, so every day, it's less and less. So far, I'm went down to only one pack a day, yo! Aren't you proud of me?

_One pack a day? That's still a lot._

Only to you. You don't know how much I used to smoke before!

_How much did you smoke before you decided to quit?_

…I…I lost count, yo. I think it was somewhere around…five packs a day.

_Whoa! I'm surprised you have no problem breathing! How could one person smoke so much?_

You're not a smoker. You don't know how addicting cigarettes are, yo!

_Next question:_

"_**Was there a relationship between Tifa and Reno? If not, then what about Yuffie?" **__Signed, Tenchu Aya-chan _

Tifa? She's hot! I did ask her out once, yo. But she is obsessed with that depressing little blonde! He's always on her mind! But he's too into the past to realize how much she loves him, yo. It's sad, really. Kind of a waste.

_What about Yuffie?_

What about her, yo?

_Did you ever have a relationship with her, Reno?_

Oh! Well, we did go out a couple of times, but she is LOUD! And annoying, yo. She is pretty and all, but she gives me a headache. And she kept trying to take my materia! What's up with that, yo?

_She's a materia thief. What do you expect?_

Oh yeah…

_Anyway…Next!_

"_**What's your last name and who is your fave ff7 girl?" **__Signed, lilmizgrunge _

I don't really have a last name. Tetsuya Nomura didn't give me one. I guess he wanted me to be like Madonna or Cher that way, yo. Or maybe…he didn't think I was important enough…

_Aw! Of course not, Reno. You're very important! _

Heh, I know.

_Anyway, who's your fave FF7 girl??_

Elena! 'lena all the way, yo!

_Wow, you answered that quickly!_

Of course, yo! I really like 'lena! She's smart, and funny, and clever, and beautiful, and-

_You're so cute! But we don't have all day to hear you gush over Elena, so let's answer the next question:_

"_**How'd he get his scars? Are he and Rude dating/seeing each other? And which of the various FFVII women does he like best, JENOVA and the DOC women included?" **__Signed, Queen_

My scars? You mean the ones on my body?

_I think they mean the tattoos on your face._

Ah. Those are tattoos, not scars. But I do have scars on my body, yo. All Turks have them. They're from fighting and mako injections and such.

_How about you and Rude? Are you two seeing each other?_

What?!

_That's what it says here. _

Me…and Rude…No, we aren't seeing each other. I'm straight and I think he is too, yo. Besides, we're only best friends, not lovers.

_I see. And lastly, which of the FFVII women do you like the best? Including JENOVA and the DOC women._

Ew! JENOVA? She's that weird alien thing, yo! She looks all slimy and-

_Reno, please pay attention and answer the question._

Sorry, yo. Well, I really like Elena, so she's first on that list. Then Tifa, 'cause she's hot.

_What about the women from DOC? They had some pretty hot guys and girls! Did you like any of the women?_

Well, Lucrecia was pretty, yo. But that whole Hojo thing…ugg…It gives me the chills just thinking about it! Yuck!

_I totally agree with you. I mean, Hojo over Vincent? What the heck was she thinking? Now I'm the one getting the shivers…Um… Next question: _

"_**Are the red crescent marks by your eyes scars or tattoos? And what is the story behind them?" **__Signed, Jaded Crescent _

Those red crescent marks are tattoos, yo. There's not much of a story behind them. I guess you can say that I wanted to be different, so I got them when I was younger.

_During the whole rebellious phase, huh?_

…Perhaps.

_Hehehe. Okay, next:_

"_**What's his blood type? Does he have a girlfriend or not? What about his relationship with Elena? Is his eye color blue or green? And he's not gay with Rude right?!?" **__Signed, yodel_

My blood type is type O. I don't necessarily have a girlfriend, but I don't exactly just sit around on Friday and Saturday night, yo.

_So you think you're quite the player then, huh?_

Think? I don't think I'm a player, yo. I _know _I am.

_But what about your relationship with Elena?_

Although I really like her, all she ever wants to be is friends. But mark my words, yo! One day, she will fall in love with me!

_You seem pretty determined._

You bet I am, yo!

_So I take it that once Elena falls in love with you, you'll give up your "player" ways?_

Um…Let me get back to you on that one.

_Reno!_

What?

_Ugh, never mind. So, what color are your eyes?_

Why are you asking me that? You're sitting right next to me, yo!

_Reno, it was a question from a reader! It's not an "Ask M" fic! You answer it!_

Oh! My eyes are a bright light blue, yo. And they glow because of the mako.

_And last question. Are you gay with Rude?_

Again?!

_Reno, just answer._

No, I'm not. There's nothing wrong with being gay, but Rude and I are just friends, yo!

_Really?_

Yes, really! You have friends, right?

_Well, yeah._

Exactly, yo. I'm friends with Rude just like you're friends with whoever you're friends with!

_Makes sense._

And I know what you're thinking, yo. I know that sometimes love blossoms from innocent friendships, but I'm straight. It's not gonna happen, yo.

_Just friends. Got it. Next: _

"_**What is Reno's favorite kind of music? What band is his favorite?" **__Signed, Shinigami Senka _

Alright! Music, yo! My favorite kind of music is almost any type of rock!

_Right on!_

And I don't really have just one favorite band. I enjoy Panic! At the Disco-

_Me too!_

-and MSI (Mindless Self Indulgence), yo.

_Ew!_

Ew? What do you mean 'ew'? They asked for _my _opinion, not yours, yo!

_Hmph. You're right. _

Of course I am, yo.

_But MSI isn't for children, so listen at your own risk, guys!_

Definitely not for kids.

_Okay. One more letter, then we'll take a break before we start the third chapter, alright?_

You're the boss, yo.

_It says: _

"_**I would like to hear your version of what Reno's childhood and past was like. Are the marks under his eyes scars or tattoos? If they are scars how did he get them and if tattoos why did he get them? Thanks!" **__Signed, Sabith  
_

My childhood, huh? Well, I don't really remember my father at all and my mother died when I was really young, yo. I think I just reached six or seven years old. When that happens to kids that lived in the slums of Midgar, they were usually left to fend for themselves, yo. I joined a little band of kids that were orphans as well and we worked together to survive. That's how I became so tough. Then, sometime in my teens, I joined the Turks.

_You just joined? Just like that?_

…I don't really like talking about it, yo.

_Alright. I respect that. Lastly, about your tattoos. Why did you get them?_

I wanted to be different, yo. I didn't want to look like everybody else.

_But you have bright red hair-_

You know what I mean, yo! I wanted to be original.

_Alright, alright. Well, that's all for now. Thank you all so much for those reviews and questions! We really appreciate them. We'll do our best to answer them all! And we'll try to answer more next time! Until next chapter!_

Later, yo!


	3. Chapter 3

**Ask Reno!: Chp 3**

Yo! Welcome to chapter 3 of "Ask Reno!". Put down that copy of "Death Note", M, we have work to do!

_Eager, as always! Okay, since there are a ton of questions, let's get started right away._

Yes, ma'am!

_First one says: _

"_**How is your relations with Rufus as a friend? Any fun activities you enjoy doing even when not working?" **__Signed, Laili the Turk _

Rufus and I are pretty cool buddies, yo. But he hates it when I act all chummy with him at work. He says that it's not "professional". But after work, we have all sorts of fun going out to bars and picking up women and stuff like that, yo.

_That sounds nice. What do you like to do when you're not working?_

Hm…Well, when I'm not at work, I'm usually out drinking, yo. But I also play video games on my free time and ever since M had me watch a couple of episodes of Azumanga Daioh with her, I enjoy watching anime as well, yo.

_But he won't read the manga._

Why read something when it's on TV or it has a movie, yo?

_You're lazy. Next question: _

_**"What's the best thing about being a Turk?" **__Signed, priestess-one-shot _

I love being a Turk, yo! I'll have to say that the best thing is being able to do whatever you want and nobody really says anything because, well, you're a Turk. And they give you free stuff when you tell them that it's for "Turk business".

_Isn't that a bit dishonest?_

How? I'm a Turk and it's my business, right?

_I guess. If you look at it that way…_

Exactly, yo.

_Um…let's move on:_

"_**Do you prefer blondes, brunettes or redheads? (Hint hint!) How many times have you shocked yourself with your electro magnetic rod (EMR)? How many times have you shocked Rude?" **__Signed, Da Red Fox _

That is a tough question. Let's see…I prefer…all three, yo!

_All three? Reno, you have to choose one._

Why? Where does it say to choose only one?

"_All three" isn't one of the choices. It's either blondes, brunettes, or redheads!_

But…but…I like them all, yo…

_Sigh…Alright, alright, fine. Geez, you know I'm a sucker when you pout like that…_

Hehehe…You know I'm a ladies' man, yo. I can't choose just one.

…_Whatever. Anyway, how many times have you shocked yourself with your EMR?_

I-It's embarrassing, but…I shocked myself many, many, many times when I first started using it, yo. And let me tell you, it's definitely not a little shock. It hurts like a-

_But you're good with it now, right? _

Well…sort of, yo.

_I bet you're good with your fists, though!_

Of course! All Turks are.

_How many times have you shocked Rude?_

Hehehehe…More times than I've shocked myself. It's kind of funny seeing his reactions, yo.

_What kind of friend are you? That's so mean!_

But the reactions are just too good to pass up, yo! I mean, he yelps and twitches and it's too funny!

_Heh…I guess that would be a little funny. Next:_

"_**How long did it take you to grow your ponytail? Why did you grow your ponytail so long? Do people constantly pull your ponytail? Does your ponytail ever get in the way of your activities? (Wink, wink! Just kidding) And...do you ever regret dropping the plate on Sector Seven?" **__Signed, Mitsukai _

Wow! This person's really interested in my hair! Well, I guess it _is _pretty awesome, yo.

_It sure is! Now get to answering the questions!_

Fine, fine. Let's see…I've been growing my hair out like this since I was a little kid. I never had my hair cut because nobody really forced me to, so it just grew out like this and I tied it back so it wouldn't get in my way, yo. But I guess if I cut it now, it would probably grow back in a few months. My hair grows really fast, yo.

_I love your pretty red hair! Don't _ever _get it cut!_

I don't plan on it, yo. After all, my long red hair makes me pretty popular with the ladies.

_I'm sure it does. _

Anyway, yes, people used to always pull on my hair, but ever since I got my EMR, they stopped, yo.

_I wonder why._

Well, pulling my hair proved to be quite _shocking_.

…_That pun is so clichéd. _

…I know, yo.

_So did your hair ever get in the way of your activities?_

Nope. Never, yo. Since my hair has always been like this, I've learned to deal with it.

_And lastly, do you regret dropping the plate on Sector Seven?_

…All the time, yo. But business is business.

_But-_

Move on to the next question, M.

_But, Reno-_

Next, M.

…_Okay. _

"_**Why didn't you tell Cloud that Rufus had been kidnapped in AC?" **__Signed, TheDreamChild _

Rufus was kidnapped? Rufus wasn't kidnapped, yo. The only people who were, were Tseng and 'Lena. They were kidnapped and tortured by Kadaj and his gang, but thanks to Vincent, they escaped.

_The only thing that Rufus did was lie and pretend he was only able to move around in a wheelchair. And hide JENOVA of course._

Hm…maybe this person meant something else, yo…

_Maybe. Let's move on. Next:_

"_**Why aren't you the lead Turk if you're so cool?" **__Signed, Angelic Ami_

That is a question I ask myself every day, yo.

_Why _aren't _you lead Turk?_

Because Rufus won't let me be the leader! He says something about me being too immature and irrational, but I wasn't listening, yo. I think it's because I'm so awesome that the other Turks will get all jealous of me, so they keep me on the down low.

_Uh…sure. You'll be the leader one day, Reno._

Darn right I will.

_Next question: _

"_**Do you have a tattoo?? Have you ever hurt Rude...like REAL bad? Why aren't you the leader of the Turks?! You're so cool." **__Signed, FaerieFighter009 _

Yep, I have a tattoo! I have more than one. I have these on my cheeks and another one on my body, yo.

_Ooh! What's that a tattoo of? And where is it?_

Heh…that's a secret, yo.

_Aw…and you won't tell your adoring fans?_

I'll leave it up to their imaginations.

_Aw, boo. Oh well…I'll get you to talk sometime. But for now, have you ever hurt Rude? Like, really badly?_

…Yes.

_You won't get out of explaining this one. What happened?_

Well, you know how I like to shock Rude sometimes with my EMR?

_Yeah._

One time, I snuck up to shock him, but…

_But…?_

I didn't see that he was dealing with water, yo. So…he sort of lit up like a Christmas tree.

_Seriously?!_

Yeah! It was hilarious to see him glow like that, but it wasn't so funny when he didn't wake up as quickly as he usually did. He had me worried. I thought I killed him, yo!

_Serves you right for going around and shocking your friends like that!_

I felt really bad afterwards. Heh…But it was pretty funny.

_Poor Rude…Next question:_

"_**Sorry, Reno, but in AC you can see brown hair roots. It's still natural? And do you like Elena?" **__Signed, xyuffiex _

I really like 'Lena! Like, a whole bunch, yo! It's such a shame that she only wants to be friends, though. And-

_Wait, Reno. You totally ignored that first question._

What first question? I don't see any question, yo.

_It's right there! The one about your hair roots._

Ooooooh! You mean _that _question.

_Yes, that one!_

Wait a minute…brown roots? I have brown roots, yo?! But my hair has always been red!

_I dunno. I mean, they're right. Look at those brown roots. _

I don't dye my hair! Want me to prove it to you, yo?

_Um, that's quite alright._

I don't dye my hair, yo! It's all natural! And I can prove it!!

_Okay, Reno! Calm down! We believe you! Your hair is naturally bright fire engine red! _

And don't you forget it, yo.

…_Even though your roots are brown._

Why you-

_Next question!:_

"_**Does the name Axel mean anything to you?…-hackcoughKingdomHeartshackcough-" **__Signed, Sahxyel_

Axel? Why does that name sound so familiar…? Isn't Axel that guy that you have over here sometimes, yo? That pyromaniac?

_Yes, he is. Why?_

This person feels Axel should mean something…Do you know?

_I can't say anything. Y-You have to answer, not me._

You're fidgeting! That means you know something and you're hiding it, yo! What's this about Axel that I should know?

_N-Nothing! Nothing at all!_

Are…Are you…and him..?

_What? Are Axel and I what?_

You mean…me and you…

_Wait a minute…Reno, you got it all wrong! It's not like that at all!_

Oh my g- You're going to replace me with him, aren't you?!

_What?!_

That's what you're going to do! You're going to turn this fic into an "Ask Axel" fic, yo!

_Don't be ridiculous! _

You are, aren't you?!

_Reno, listen to me!_

I don't even know you anymore! One minute, you're all nice to me, yo. You gave me cookies and cakes and all sorts of good stuff while we're doing this fic, and the next, you plan to replace me! Right behind my back!

_RENO!_

What!?

_I'm not replacing you! The only reason this person mentioned Axel is because you and him look a lot alike! _

…We do?

_YES! You both have awesome red hair and you're both skinny tough guys. There's a high probability that he's your Nobody!_

…Really?

_Yes._

And you're not replacing me?

_No._

…I knew that.

_No, you didn't. _

…Sorry, yo.

…_It's okay. Now that you're calm again, we can continue. _

Y'know, now that you mention it, Axel does look a lot like me. And we both have the same attitude, yo.

_Exactly._

I wonder if he really is my Nobody…

_Maybe he is. I wish we knew for sure._

Me too, yo.

_Let's answer two more questions, then take a break._

Sounds good to me, yo.

_So, are we good again?_

We're good.

_Cool. Next:_

"_**Okay, you're around the President a lot Reno, being a Turk. So is he gay? And do you think you'll ever get married? (And I agree on the Hojo...thing)" **__Signed, FaerieFighter009 _

This person sounds familiar…Hey! I remember now, yo! We answered one of their questions just a few minutes ago!

_That's true! But we're answering these in the order in which they came, so let's just answer it, despite who the writer is._

Okay. Is Rufus gay, yo? Well, I can't say for sure. I'm not around him 24/7. Tseng is, though. Tseng would know for sure. If you want my opinion, however, I will say that I think he is, yo. Tseng and him spend a little too much time together, if you know what I mean.

…_A Tseng and Rufus pairing?_

Maybe, yo.

_If that were true, then Elena would be all yours!_

I never thought of it that way, yo! Now I really hope it's true!

_And would you ever get married, Reno?_

Hm…I guess I would, if the right woman came along. But I'm not getting married anytime soon. I'm still young, yo! I wanna have my fun!

_Onto the last question of the day:_

"_**Does Reno like Cloud in a 'gay' way? If so, why don't you date him?" **__Signed, Kinzoko_

Me and Cloud? Sorry, yo. I'm not gay. I'm straight!

_So no Cloud and Reno?_

No. And I don't care how much you pout like that, it's not going to work. I. Am. Straight!

_Aw. Oh well. Well, that's all for now! Thank you all for your questions and reviews! We hope you've enjoyed this chapter! 'til next time!_

Later, yo!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Ask Reno!: Chp 4**

_Aaaaand we're back! Thank you all for those interesting questions and nice reviews. Sorry about the long absence. Things have just been so hectic lately since I'm starting college this year, so I barely have time to myself anymore. Luckily, Reno has been able to kidnap me for a while, so we can answer your questions! Let's answer right away!_

Right, yo! Let's not keep my fans waiting any longer!

_Question number one: _

"_**When and How did Reno meet Rude?" **__Signed, Laili the Turk _

I met Rude during the first few months of working for ShinRa, yo. They made me his partner and we worked together for a while. At first, we didn't get along. We fought a lot, yo.

_You guys fought? Like with your fists?_

Sometimes. _I _would always win, though.

_Yeah, right. _

But after working together for a while, we found out that we had a lot more in common than we thought and now we're the best of friends!

_That sounds nice! How lucky!_

It is, yo.

_Let's answer the next question:_

_**"Did you ever have a childhood dream? If do, what was it?" **__Signed, priestess-one-shot _

I actually did have a childhood dream, yo. I sorta… wanted to own my own pizza shop.

_You wanted to own a pizza shop?!_

Yeah, but I was little at the time! I thought it would be cool! I could eat all the food I wanted, yo!

_Do you still want to own one?_

A small part of me does. I mean, it does sound fun, but the rest of me loves the Turks, yo.

_Heh…a pizza shop…_

Shut up! Like you didn't have a silly childhood dream, yo! Everybody had one!

_I could imagine it now. Reno, standing behind a counter, flipping dough through the air!_

SHUT UP, YO!

_Hehehehehe…It's funny to imagine._

M, I swear, if you don't shut up, I'm going to shock you!

_Fine, fine. Heh. Let's move on:_

"_**How in the hell can you like Panic! At the Disco! I mean, come on! What about Three Days Grace or something? Oh, and do you like electronica dance music?" **__Signed, reno'sgf ()_

Hey! I don't go around knocking your favorite music! So what if I like Panic! At the Disco, yo? Everybody's taste is different! I haven't heard any of Three Days Grace's music yet, so I can't say anything about it.

_I'll pick up a couple of their cds so we can listen and hear what they're like, Reno._

Okay, yo. And as for electronica dance music, I think it's pretty cool. I like it, yo.

_Next!:_

"_**Who's your idol?" **__Signed, xyuffiex _

My idol, yo? I don't really have one.

_Did you have one when you were younger?_

I did. I wanted to be like Sephiroth, yo. Most young boys wanted to back then.

_I bet they've changed their mind now, huh?_

Definitely! I hate the guy!

_Y-Yeah. He's p-pretty bad…_

Hey…Are you blushing, yo?

_N-No!_

You are, aren't you! You have a crush on Sephiroth, don't you?

_L-Let's move on!! Next question:_

"_**Reno, what did you think about the days when there were more TURKs and when we were fighting the really serious AVALANCHE (the one before Barret was around)? Also, were you sad when the other TURKS weren't there anymore after it was all over?" **_

When there were more Turks, things were more fun, yo. There were more people to talk to and to play tricks on and stuff. Things are still fun with the Turks we have now, but I miss the old ones…

_Aww…so you're sad that they're gone?_

…Yeah. I think about them from time to time.

_You poor thing…What did you think about fighting the really serious AVALANCHE? How do they compare to the AVALANCHE with Cloud and Barret?_

The old AVALANCHE was tough to fight. They were seriously a lot stronger than the one with Barret because they seemed to be more determined and united to achieve their goal, yo. They were a lot more fun.

_Wow. Maybe I should check out this FF7: Before Crisis! I wanna see 'em!_

Oh! Can I see too?

_Sure! But let's finish this chapter first._

Okay, yo!

_Next!: _

"_**Did you ever do any other drugs besides smoking cigarettes? Who did you really hate, as in wanted to kill, in Final Fantasy 7? What do you think about Aeris and would you go out with her? Oh and please let Reno know that I think he should have made an appearance in DoC!" **__Signed, EphemeralDream _

I haven't done any other drugs before. When you work for ShinRa, you go through random drug tests, and if they find any on you, you're in a lot of trouble and will get kicked out, yo. I love being in the Turks too much, so I don't risk it. Besides, drugs have a nasty reaction with the mako in our systems. I've once seen the combination kill a guy. It wasn't a pretty sight…

_Sounds bad…_

It was, yo. As for who I really hated, I really hated Sephiroth.

_You did?_

Yes. I wanted to be the one to kill him, but chocobo head got there first, yo.

_But were you ready to fight him? I mean, he was pretty strong. He even had Cloud on the run a few times, and Cloud's um…a bit…stronger than you._

What?! Cloud ain't stronger than me! I can beat that stupid blonde any day of the week! Just watch me, yo! I can take him! I can take anyone!

_Settle down, Reno! Please, sit back down!_

I will not settle down! I will prove it to you, yo! Where's Strife? I'll rip him apart!

_RENO!! _

What?!

_Sit down. I take back what I said. You probably could have taken Sephiroth, alright?_

You're darn right I could have.

…_After Cloud has weakened him._

What'd you say?!

_I said 'What did you think of Aeris?'_

…Oh. Aeris, huh? She was pretty. And she smelled nice, yo.

_Would you have gone out with her?_

Probably, yo. She seemed really sweet. What Sephiroth did was a shame. She was so young, yo…

_I know. Wait…There's more written here._

What's it say, yo?

'_Please let Reno know that I think he should have made an appearance in DoC!'_

Really?

_Yep!_

Wow! Heh, they're right. They probably would have sold more copies of that game if _I_ were in it.

_That's so true! _

You know, if I had my own game, it would probably sell _twice _what Vincent's game did, yo!

_I would definitely buy a copy or two!_

I should talk to Square Enix about this…

_You should! I think it's a wonderful idea. But for now, let's move on. I'll put that on your 'To Do' list. Next question:_

"_**I heard that Reno fell into mako in the past that made his eye color like a blue/green. Can you tell me about how, when, and where you fell into the mako??" **__Signed, yodel _

Woah, I've never fallen into mako before. I don't think I would have lived to tell the tale, yo. It was possible for Sephiroth because, well, he was a genetically enhanced super human. I'm just a plain ol' human being. An incredibly handsome one, but normal nonetheless, yo.

_Falling into mako sounds scary…_

It does. I mean, it's all glowy and mysterious and stuff. Who knows how painful it'll be if a normal human fell in, yo!

_Owies…Let's answer the next one: _

"_**So you're a known boozehound. Do you ever fly your helicopter drunk? And have you ever 'got it on' with those ice women thingies on the Great Glacier?" **__Signed, Shugoshin No Sora _

Heh. My favorite kind of question; one about booze and babes, yo.

_Reno!_

What? It's the truth.

_Whatever. Just answer._

Alright. Well, I have flown a helicopter drunk before. I was lucky I didn't crash, yo! But it was pretty fun.

_Reno, what kind of example are you setting for everyone?_

What? I'm answering the question truthfully, just how you asked me to, yo!

_Hmph._

Fine, fine. I won't ever drive drunk again. I was lucky to have lived that time, yo. And it's the truth. I just narrowly missed hitting a ShinRa building.

_That's better._

Right. And now, the second question…Heh, well I'll be lying if I said I didn't, yo.

_Wait. It says 'ice woman thingies'. Does this person mean the human female inhabitants of the Great Glacier, or some sort of creature?_

I don't know. I'm assuming they're talking about human babes. I would never even try anything like that on something that isn't human. That's…disgusting, yo.

_Tell me about it. Ugh! Just the thought disgusts me. Let's move on…:_

"_**What is your favorite weapon of choice and why?" **__Signed, ReAwaken _

That one's real easy! I'll say my EMR, yo!

_Why your EMR?_

Because it's the weapon I have the most skill with, so it's the easiest for me to use. I don't really like to use guns and swords. They are just…troublesome, yo.

_Yeah, I would have guessed your EMR too!_

I love that thing, yo.

_Next question!:_

"_**Do you remember when we got married? (Ahaha. Ahh. Sorry. I just wanted to ask. ...) Also, if your hair is naturally red.. how come your eyebrows are brownish? Wouldn't they both be the same color..?" **__Signed, S.N. Naina _

W-We were married?!

_Reno, calm down. It was just a joke._

Oh! H-Hehehe…O-Of course.

_Hm…Answer the second question._

Alright. Hey! My hair is naturally red! My eyebrows are not brown, they're a darker shade of red hair that appears brown.

_It is kind of strange that your hair is a lighter red than your eyebrows._

But that's how my hair works! Look at Hatsuharu Sohma.

_From Fruits Basket?_

Yeah, him. His hair is white, but his roots are pitch black!

_But he has a special reason why! What's yours?_

Look, Hatsuharu and I live in a different world than you and the writers. It's possible for us to have different colored hair like that because we're from different worlds, yo. Almost all of us have hair that makes no sense in your world. Take Cloud as an example. His hair is spiked up and stuff like that, but it's soft! The only way that's possible in your world is if he was growing stalks of wheat out of his head, yo!

_I guess you have a point._

Of course I do. Now next question.

_Alright.:_

"_**Reno, you rock! You're much better then Cloud!" **__Signed, Living in a fantasy _

Alright, yo! Of course I am! I really like this person. It ain't a question, but hey, I ain't complainin'! Thank you, yo!

_Aw, how kind of them!_

Right, yo?

_You're so cheerful! Let's answer this last one, then go watch some Death Note!_

Alright, yo!

_Last question:_

_**"What do you of think of the fanart that people draw of you on the internet?" **__Signed Oliveprincess. _

Fanart, yo? That's a first. Nobody's ever asked me about that before.

_What do you think about it?_

Well…I think it's pretty cool, yo. I like most of the fanart that people draw of me. As long as they don't make me look like a fool or something, I'm cool with it! Most of them are really nice!

_W-What about the fanart I draw of you?_

The ones you draw? You make me look super cute and stuff. You need to make me more manly, like the real me!

_Aww…_

Other than that…I guess it's alright.

_Really?_

Yeah. Now stop looking at me like that. You're beginning to freak me out.

_Okies. Well, that's all the questions for today! Thanks for all the questions and comments that were sent to us! Please continue to read and review and we'll work hard on answering your questions._

'til next time, yo!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7!

**Ask Reno!: Chp 5**

_Hiya, again! We're back to answer more of your questions! I'm so sorry for taking so long answering them. There's just so much going on right now. I mean, right now, I'm really supposed to be studying for my theology final._

You should be more responsible, M! Like me, yo.

_Oh? Where are those reports you were supposed to have completed by today?_

…Call it a draw?

_Sure. Anyway, we received a lot of letters from you guys! It's so exciting!_

I like the ones that come with delicious gifts. Those are the best, yo.

_Yeah, you would be interested in the food, wouldn't you?_

You know it, yo! A man's gotta eat!

_I suppose you're right! Now, without further interruptions, let's get to answering questions! The first one says:_

"_**What's up with the goggles? I mean, I've never seen you wear them. And it's not like you're a pilot (like Cid!) or something. I also don't see how it could have anything to do with your Turk duties since no one else seems to have a pair. Do you... do you only wear them because you think it looks cool or something?" **__Signed, a-ninny-mouse ()_

My goggles? I love my goggles, yo! I wear them all the time! I think they look nice and _sometimes_ they come in handy for Turk business, yo. Like one time, one of us (not gonna mention any names), dropped something very important under water and who was the only one there with goggles to go retrieve it?

…_You?_

Darn right!

_But weren't you the one who dropped it in the first place? Either way, you had to go down there to get it; goggles or not._

I didn't drop it! It was…was…Rude, yo! He did it!

_Just finish answering the questions._

Okay, yo. But I'm telling you, that guy's a butterfingers. Let's see…Hey! I am a pilot! I'm a helicopter pilot! The best darn one ShinRa has, mind you. That's the other reason why I wear these goggles. It's a pilot's necessity!

_That's right! I think those goggles are adorable. They remind me of Matt from Death Note 3_

Thank you. Heh, reason number three: Chick magnet.

_What was that, Reno? _

Nothing, yo. Just taking to myself.

_Um…okay. Let's answer the next one: _

"_**Do you have any siblings? Just curious. And, if someone dared you, would you sky-dive?"**__ Signed, FaerieFighter009 _

Sorry, yo. As far as I know, I'm an only child. But I did have a bunch of friends when I was younger that I treated as brothers and sisters. I miss them a lot, yo. I would love to see them again.

_What happened to them?_

…Most of them were killed young….

…_I'm sorry._

Ah, it's fine. I'm over it now, yo.

_Still. It's sad and I'm sorry I brought it up, Reno…_

It's cool, it's cool. Let's just move on.

_Wait, there's still one more. Would you ever sky dive?_

Are you kidding me? Of course! I've been sky diving billions of times. And there are some times where I went without a parachute, by the way. But those were during Turk missions, yo. Once, I was about to crash into the side of a mountain and had no choice but to leap out of the helicopter.

_Oh my gosh! What happened?!_

Someone tampered with the wires to the controls and I wasn't able to move anything at all. I was lucky that the water below was deep enough for me to fall into without getting seriously hurt, yo.

_How scary…I'm glad you're okay. Did you catch the guy who did it?_

Rude and Elena caught him later on and we made him go sky diving with cement shoes instead of a parachute, yo.

…_I'll make sure never to mess with you guys. Next question:_

"_**Where the hell were the Turks during Dirge of Cerberus? You'd think that since Deepground was so big and important to the head honchos of old Shinra (pre-Meteor, I mean) that Rufus would've sent you guys out to help deal with them when they started blowing everything to hell and plotting the end of the world. Rufus did say that he wants to help regenerate the Planet now; wouldn't kicking Deepground's with the Turks have been a means toward that end?"**_

Well-

_Wait, there's more:_

"_**What is Rude's usual reaction when you break his sunglasses and why does he wear those all the time, anyway? Who didja like best: Tifa, Yuffie, Aerith, or Scarlet (already know your opinion on Elena)? That said, if given the opportunity to steal one of these gals away from their current man (canon pairings; Cloti, Zaeris, Yuffentine), which one would be least hazardous to your health to steal away, in your opinion? And would you actually do it, if given the chance? Last question for now, I swear: what video games do you like?"**__ Signed, Queen_

Are you done?

_Yes._

Alright, then. First of all, we were on vacation during the making of that game! We hate to be bothered when we're on vacation, yo. Besides, I think it was only a secret between the head honchos anyway and they probably felt that it was none of our business, so we weren't involved.

_Aw, that sucks. I hate old ShinRa!_

Hey!

_Except for Reno._

Thank you. Besides, I'm sure they keep a lot of secrets from us. We didn't even know about Deepground until that incident, yo. I'm sure there are a lot more things that we're kept in the dark about.

_That's not right!_

I know...

_...Wanna go do some spying later?_

Yeah!

_Sweet! Alright, answer the rest of it, and then move on._

Okay. Let's see...I think Rude is used to me breaking his sunglasses by now. I mean, he does carry extras around in his pocket. It's not my fault, though! It's stupid gravity, yo.

…

What?

_Gravity, Reno? You're blaming gravity?_

Yes. Yes I am.

_Keep answering before I pinch your cheeks._

Fine…I'm not exactly sure why Rude always wears his sunglasses, yo. I think it's because either he is sensitive to light, or he's just shy and it makes him feel better. Ooh! The next one is a good question, yo. I like Tifa the most out of all of them, but she's Spike's woman and that's a health hazard, so I'll go with Aerith.

_Good choice! She's pretty too!_

I know! And she would be the easiest to snatch away from the given pairings because her boyfriend's dead, yo!

_Reno!_

What?! I'm just stating the truth!

_That was insensitive._

But it _is_ the truth! Her boyfriend's dead so I'll be there for her, yo!

_But what if his ghost comes down and haunts you?_

G-Ghost? There's no such t-thing as ghosts, M.

_Why are you stuttering, Reno? Scared??_

N-No!

_Careful...Ghost Zack's gonna geeet yooooooou!_

Cut it out, yo! He is not! I haven't even touched his girlfriend!

_ZOMG! What's that?!_

What? Where?! ACK!!

_Ahahahahahahaha!! I was kidding! Sit back down, Reno,! Get off of me! This chair is only for one person! You'll break it!_

T-That wasn't funny at all, yo!

_I was playing with you, Reno. There was nothing behind you. I just imagined that white hand on your shoulder, that's all._

WHAT?!

_I kid, I kid! Now let's try to finish this chapter sometime before next year._

You're the one digressing, yo!

_Ooh! Looks like someone learned a new word!_

M!

_Sorry, sorry! Ignore me and move on!_

Anyway, my favorite video game type is both RPG and action/adventure, yo. Right now, M and I have been playing Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles!!

I_ bought a Wii just for that!! It's so much fun!! Especially since it's can be played with two people now, instead of just one. Playing with a friend makes things so much more exciting!_

I know! Wanna play as a team again after this?

_High five for reading my mind!_

Booya!

_Next question!:_

"_**What do you want to say to the yaoi fangirls? (I'm not one, but still ))Who do you think will get married first from the Turks?"**__ Signed, xyuffiex _

Yaoi fangirls!! Ugh!

_Hey! I'm one of them! Yay for yaoi!_

Look, I don't really mind them, but please. Stop pairing me with Rude! PLEASE! I don't mind Rufus and maybe even Tseng (as long as I'm seme), y'know, 'cause those two kinda look like chicks, yo. But please not my best friend! We're friends!! That's all, yo!

_Suuuure._

M!!

_What? You're _friends

Don't wink like that! Ugh, moving on, yo. I personally think that Tseng will be the first to get married. He's the most mature one of all of us and he's serious about the things he does. The rest of us don't take things too seriously and we all kinda just fool around, yo. I wonder if _any_ of us will get married, really.

_I wonder what kind of girl Tseng will marry…_

Not my 'Lena, that's for sure, yo.

_That's what you think._

What? Hey! I-

_Next!!:_

"_**Are you ever gonna get married**__?" Signed, Fujiwara Aiko () _

Hopefully one day, yo. And it might be to 'Lena, _M_.

_What? Why are you looking at me like that? I didn't do anything!_

I won't let Tseng steal my woman!

_Please calm down, Reno. I was only kidding. Anyway, let's answer one more, okay? I really need to get back to studying._

Okay! Let's do it!

_Yay!:_

"_**Do you think Tifa will ever net Cloud? Or do you think she'll end up with you? Or do you think she'd doomed to eternal loneliness because you'll have Elena and Cloud's spirit will run off with Aerith in a flowerfield? Aerith can manifest, ya know...though you'll never see her do it"**__ Signed, Angelalex242 _

Heh, you made M laugh with that one. She's on the floor and everything!

_You don't gotta tell 'em that!! And come on! Don't you think Aerith manifesting is funny?_

Well anyway, I think Tifa deserves better than Cloud, but who she hooks up with is up to her. I don't think she'll end up with me because she pays way too much attention to blondie. However, I do think one day Cloud will come to his senses and get together with Tifa, but I think it'll take a couple of slaps to the face and maybe even a few signs in the sky for him to realize how much she loves him, yo.

_Woah._

Yeah, I know, but it's the truth, yo.

_I would love to see Cloud and Aerith's spirit running through a field, though. That'll be hilarious!_

Hahahaha! It would! I could see it now!

_Oh, how I love thee, Cloud!_

And I you, Aerith! AHAHAHAHA!!

_AHAHAHAHAHA!!!_

Ah, man, that was great

_It was. Well, I'm sorry, but we're all out of time and I apologize if I haven't answered your questions yet. There's just so much work that needs to be done, but as soon as I could, I promise I will get right on those questions! And I will do my absolute best to update 'The Random Life Of Reno' pretty soon. I'm really truly sorry for making you guys wait so long..._

I'll make sure she gets to work, so you guys don't gotta worry, yo.

_Right! Anyway, see you guys next time!_

Laterz, yo! 'Til next time!


End file.
